Great British scratchoffable climbs part 1. Holme Moss

 Great British scratchoffable Climbs part 1. Holme Moss.

For Christmas this year my sons thought it would be funny to buy me a “scratch off climbs” map of Great Britain. They knew that once they had got me to scratch off the few climbs that I had already done then I would be fully sucked into the project and not rest until the map was fully scratched off.

Unfortunately my home turf, of the Eastern Counties, is devoid of any scratchoffable climbs with the nearest one well over 100 miles away. But I’m not looking for excuses so let’s look at the task in hand. There are 75 climbs on the map which are rated green, blue or red depending on difficulty. I have so far done 2 green, 1 blue and 1 red so a disappointing total of 4. 

However I did spot an opportunity to make it 5 and tackle Holme Moss as it’s near Manchester where eldest son Peter lives. 

Therefore on this weekends visit I snuck my bike into the car and then insisted that we (me, Peter and Mrs Crusader) take a trip there. My plan was for me and Peter to tackle the climb while Mrs Crusader provided support from the team car.

But first there obviously needs to be scratchoffable climb rules. 

1. You always have to cycle up what is considered the most difficult route

2. You can only have one car journey per day to get to the start of a scratchoffable climb bagging day.

I checked and the correct way to tackle Holme Moss is heading south from Holmefirth as per 2014 Tour de France, so despite it being wet, cold and grey we headed there. As we were just doing the one climb we would not be breaking rule 2 by going straight to the start.

Due to traffic related issues it took much longer than planned to get there and I was surprised that a little village in the middle of nowhere was so rammed. We were very lucky to get a parking space as they were like gold dust. I assumed it was this busy on such a miserable day as word had leaked out about my attempt to submit scratchoffable climb #5. But it turned out that Holmefirth was where the BBC hit and so called comedy series Last of the Summer Wine was filmed (younger readers ask your parents).

This also explained why 50% of the shops were tearooms. Despite the fact I would be breaking the cake crusader cafe reviewing rules by reviewing a cafe before I had cycled to it, we were in need of sustenance before we started and choose to test out Beatties which had much LotSW memorabilia plastered over the walls.

It was a typical Peak District destination cafe where everything was fine and got a fine type rating of 6.8 for its offerings with no particular highs or lows. Although Mrs Crusader thought her cheese scone was too doughy.

At last it was time to set off. I had agreed with Peter that he could bail for the last and steepest mile as he didn’t want to strain anything before an important volleyball match the next day. I was on my gravel bike packing bike I plan to use for my North Cape 4000 trip and he was on his cycle to work hybrid.

The ride to the top was only 5 miles but was described as a very challenging climb on one of Englands highest roads. It started with a cheeky 15% section away from town before settling down for the next few miles with the occasional steep ramp.

For fans of fog and mist todays views were stunning.

As planned a mile from top Peter got in the team car and headed to the top.

It was a good move as last mile was a bit more challenging with mainly double digit gradients.

But as I neared the top clear views of the surrounding fog kept my spirits high as you could see literally metres of the Peak District stretching out in front of you.

As it was cold and wet at the top we decided a quick turn around was needed so I descended a few miles to a pub where we had a debrief and I reviewed the stats.

According to Strava, and despite stopping for photos and chatting, I was very pleased to see I had made the fastest ascent of Holme Moss that day, at an average speed of  6.8mph and average power of 144w. The whole ride being just under 8 miles. Also according to Strava I was the only person to cycle up Holme Moss that day and the 18,678 fastest of all time. Impressive stuff.

I declared it as an official success.  We left the pub, reloaded the car and set off back to Manchester with scratchoffable climb #5 in the bag. 

Note as a bonus treat I plan to make my first ever YouTube video of this adventure to launch my new Cake Crusader YouTube channel. Look out for that coming soon.

Map of todays ride

Scores for Beatties

Hot Choc Quality	Guest Hot Drink Quality	Effective Cake Selection	Cake Quality	Ambiance and Atmosphere	Café Rating
7	7	6.2	5.9	7.82	6.78

North Cape 4000 preparation 1. Norwich/Cambridge trip

North Cape 4000 preparation. Norwich/Cambridge trip

Some of you may remember that at the end of last year I accidentally entered the  North Cape 4000. Which, along with 499 other riders, is a 4000 km (2500 mile) cycle event from Lake Garda in Italy to the North Cape at the far end of Norway. There is a 3 week time limit to complete it and if you do, you get a sticker.

Well, with only 6 months before the Gran Depart I decided it was time to start training. I also decided I will blog the whole experience, from start of training to hopefully being the furthest North person in Europe at some time in August.

The first training ride will be a 140 mile round trip to Cambridge and back. I have obviously been waiting for strong winds and a storm before confirming the date but with both forecast then today seemed perfect. 

I also decided to try and make things as hard as possible to help toughen me up for the event. I therefore put on a pannier rack and heavy panniers plus invited “Always injured” Steve to ride with me, things don’t get tougher than that.

This morning, in my secret underground bicycle workshop at Crusader towers, I prepared my bike and set off to collect Always injured Steve from his house in Wymondham.

When I set off it was fairly still with a sunny blue sky, not the conditions I was looking for. Fortunately by the time we had teamed up it was overcast and the headwind had picked up nicely.

Obviously Always injured Steve was keen to update me on his latest hamstring tendinitis situation and the amount of drugs he had to take to even be able to sit on a bike…….. zzzzzzzzzz. I would like to update you on his news but I have long since developed the skill of zoning out when he tells me anything so I’ve no idea how bad it is. When he eventually finished I just said, sounds like it’s on the mend. Apparently it isn’t and he cycled off in a huff

20 miles in then the rain picked up as well as the wind and it was at last a proper ride. We changed into our waterproofs at a convenient bus stop. I know the people who read this blog are they type who love a photo of a man putting on waterproof trousers, so here it is.

With the wind and rain getting worse we enjoyed many miles of pleasant cycling as we crossed the Norfolk Suffolk boarder before arriving at Bury St Edmunds for the planned lunch stop.

There was no time for faffing so we picked the first reasonable looking cafe, The Lounge. 

It didn’t look promising from the outside and got off to an even worse start as not only did it serve Cadburys as its hot chocolate option (standard score of 5) but the effective cake selection was wrapped in cling film so despite a good range only scored 5.92.

However after that things improved as the staff were very friendly, the hot drinks (I obviously implemented Cadbury HC rules and had tea) were solid (7) and the apple and blackberry flapjack type thing was excellent (8.1). Although not part of the rating system our jacket potatoes were very good too. Surprisingly we both agreed it would be worth coming back to again.

I checked the weather forecast on the super unreliable BBC app and announced the worst of the rain was over. This obviously had the desired effect as the heavens opening giving us  a proper soaking for the next 20 mikes to Newmarket.

After that it was just a 15 mile slog into an ever strengthening wind as we grinded it out to our Premier inn in Cambridge.

On arrival the reception guy was so impressed or sorry for us he said we deserved extra chocolate and gave us a handful of mini bars each. I decided to save most of them as it would mean Mrs Crusaders forthcoming birthday present was now sorted.

It had been quite a tough day so I set my bike up in clothes horse mode and pondered what I had learned for the big adventure 

The main takeaways

1. make sure you remember to have the right plug adapter on your gadgets charger and not the one from your last foreign holiday (obviously the reverse will be required for North Cape).

2. If there is a risk of getting cramp then don’t get in the tiny hotel bath as you might be there a long time.

Tomorrow’s return leg has more rain and even stronger winds being shown on the super unreliable BBC weather app but sadly it’s likely to be a tail wind, which doesn’t count. However  having to hear about how “Always injured” Steve’s injury was overnight will keep me in the zone.

Todays route

Scores for The lounge

Hot Choc Quality	Guest Hot Drink Quality	Effective Cake Selection	Cake Quality	Ambiance and Atmosphere	Café Rating
5	7.	5.92	8.1	6.45	6.494

Summer and Autumn EoT news.

EoT update for Summer and Autumn 

After my ride to Sweden, I’m having a few days of rest. This has given me the opportunity to catch up on the latest Egg on Toast news from over the Summer and Autumn. There is barely a month to go before I return to the top 6 cafes for a final EoT off, so not much more opportunity for cafes to make the finals. Sadly, I won’t hit my 50 EoT target, as many of the cafes I have visited don’t serve EoT after about 11.30. But I have still clocked up a good number. So here is a quick summary of the latest ones.

First up was Pura Vida cafe near Wortwell, where I got unexpected EoT as it was meant to be just a brief pit stop on a training ride, but I never miss the opportunity when EoT is available.

I felt the EoT was trying a little too hard with rocket garnish and a yet-to-be-identified grey swoosh (possibly mushroom-based). However, the eggs and toast (sourdough) were excellent, and overall enjoyment was very high, so it’s a real contender and currently in the top 6.

Next EoT occurred on my birthday when my sporty friends Jet and Sharon invited me on a 60th birthday cycle ride, followed by a birthday lunch.

This was a very nice gesture until they both claimed they were injured and couldn’t cycle. I, therefore, spent all morning on a 50-mile ride by myself while I hummed happy birthday. As they didn’t want to travel too far and waste too much of their days, they chose Town Green cafe in Wymondham as it was local to them. They have promised to take me out for a ride in 10 years time for my next milestone birthday, clearly hoping I’ll be so old by then that I’ll forget.

Fortunately, there was EoT but it had rather ordinary sliced bread and random lettuce, so it won’t be making the finals.

On my third attempt, I finally made it to Cake Crusader’s favourite Tabnabs, in time for the breakfast slot. It was worth the wait as the EoT was excellent, although still unclear what part the watermelon was meant to play. Also slightly let down by the sliced bread-based toast, which will probably keep them out of the finals.

The offering at the Goat Shed in Honningham came as a special with a chili salsa. It also came on sourdough, which is always one up on Hovis sliced. However, the eggs were tiny in comparison and rather lost in the salsa, so although nice, it’s not a winner.

I was off to see if a seaside cafe did better EoT, so I went with Andrew (who is notoriously hard to please) to the Cliff Top Cafe at Overstrand. The cafe has great views, but I’m afraid the EoT was distinctly ordinary. There were only fried eggs available, and the toast-to-egg ratio was far too high. Not surprisingly, Andrew wasn’t impressed.

It had been a long time since I’d last been to the cafe at Yaxham Waters, (now known as the Pickle and Pie) but getting there proved a real challenge, as my group of 5 cycling guests suffered 4 punctures on the ride. Fortunately, our combined repairing skills got them all fixed (eventually), but it meant we only just snuck in the breakfast slot. In the end, it wasn’t really worth it as the EoT couldn’t recover from poor toast and ended up comfortably mid-table.

I headed West for what turned out to be one of the worst EoTs, so I won’t name the cafe, but see what you think from the photo. It looked like the chef had sat on the plate before sending it out.

I was recommended to try the Chrysalis cafe, which combined a cafe plus the sale of all sorts of insects and bugs. An interesting combination I had not previously come across. The EoT looked ok, but again was let down by the toast. Basically, sliced bread from the local supermarket is always going to struggle at this level. Especially if you have to butter it yourself.

I had been recommended the EoT at the Stag coffee shop near Attleborough, so I took a whole crew of cycling guests to try it, but typically, they all opted for other items from the breakfast menu. It wasn’t quite as good as the recommendation had promised, and not really sure what the leafy green garnish added but a solid enough effort.

As part of my training for the Sweden trip, I started to sign up anyone who would do a long ride with me. Fortunately, Andrew was game so we rode out to Bircham stores in North Norfolk where they had very posh EoT (including avocado and vine tomatoes).

It would have made the top 6 finalists, but I had to rig the score as I didn’t fancy the long round trip back again to taste it in finals week (if you don’t like my approach, please feel free to do your own EoT competition).

At the other end of the spectrum, I went to the Lemon Pip cafe near East Harling, which had no pretensions of trying to be posh and served EoT with no frills. Which was fine but not a contender.

Now on to the trip to Sweden, I wondered how much European EoT I would get to try. As it turned out not much, which was fortunate, as there was no way I was cycling all that way again in finals week. The first was on the ferry crossing to Holland and was one of the better fried egg on sliced bread offerings.

I did have one final EoT in North Germany but forgot to take a photo, but it was two fried eggs on sliced bread and looked much like all the other fried eggs on sliced bread, so nothing to get excited about.

I’m going for one final EoT push in November before announcing which 6 I will revisit to find the overall winner.

Current standings 

Cafe	Month	Toast	Egg	Presentation	Overall taste/enjoyment	Total
Earsham street	April	7.8	8	7.9	17	40.7
Cannells	February	7	8.1	7.4	17.1	39.6
Pura	May	7.5	7.6	7.9	16.5	39.5
Angel cafe	March	7	8.4	7.5	16.5	39.4
Green grocers	January	7	8.4	7	16.9	39.3
Watsons Bacton	March	7.8	7.5	7.8	16.1	39.2
Tabnabs	June	6	7	8.5	16.9	38.4
Bircham stores	August	6.1	7.3	8	17	38.4
Good, bad and Hungry	February	7	8.3	6.7	16.3	38.3
Cafe Verdi	February	6.2	8.1	7.5	16.4	38.2
Goat Shed	June	8	8	6.9	15.2	38.1
Gardeners kitchen	January	7.5	8.6	5.6	16.1	37.8
Earsham Hall	March	7	7.8	7.1	15.6	37.5
Obrennans great Walsingham	February	7	7.4	6.8	16.2	37.4
Byfords	January	5	8	7.9	15.8	36.7
Reepham station	January	6.1	8.3	6.7	15	36.1
Brook cafe	March	7.3	6.8	6.7	15.3	36.1
Piece of cake	February	7	7	6.5	15.2	35.7
ALDIs &sons cafe	February	7	7	6.2	15.1	35.3
Toms Housse Germany	October	6	7	8	14	35
Stag	August	6	6.4	7	14	33.4
Cliff top cafe	June	6.1	7	5.5	14.4	33
Wiveton hall	April	6	6.8	6	13.7	32.5
Lemon pip	October	5.5	7	6	14	32.5
Yaxham waters	June	5	7.5	6	13.8	32.3
Chrysalis	July	5	7	5.5	14.2	31.7
Town green	May	6	5.8	6.4	13	31.2
Shellys	April	5.3	6.3	6.1	13.3	31
Stena Ferry to Holland	October	4	7	6	13	30
Sports park	February	5	7.8	4.5	12.2	29.5
Chalfont	July	5	4	2	7	18