The record was to be for Most cafes visited on a calorie neutral bicycle ride. They said I would hear back in about 12 weeks time after the Guinness World Records experts had reviewed my record breaking bid and set the standard I had to achieve. Well it was actually about 12 hours, not weeks, later that they sent me their decision. I hoped this was good news as they knew a good thing when they saw one so I excitingly started to read their reply.
It started well as they said "We are always delighted when we hear from people who want to break a record and were excited to read your application." Not only were they delighted to hear from me but my application had got them excited, not just "pleased to read" or "glad to read" but actually "excited to read" my application, things were definitely looking good.
To be fair the record does fall down against most of their criteria even if standardisable isn't a proper word, although I was hoping they could make an exception for such a marvellous idea that had initially caused so much delight and excitement in the Guinness World Records offices.
They did try to raise my spirits by pointing out that "Only a handful of new records categories are accepted every year" but finished by washing their hands of me altogether with a P.S of "If you choose to proceed, then this will be of your own volition and at your own risk. Guinness World Records will not monitor, measure or verify this activity."
Well Guinness World Records I don't need you to monitor, measure or verify my activity. I can easily do these things with my Garmin training watch and my Iphone camera so I will go it alone. The only other thing I would have got from you is a poxy certificate.
Therefore later this year I will undertake my own research and have a trial run of 5ish cafes to see what is practical. Based on this I will set a Norfolk Cafe Cycle Tour verified world record target and have pencilled in a date in September for my attempt.
If I succeed I will make my own certificate with my colouring pencil set.