Lull before the storm. (Tea Post, North Elmham)

Tea Post,

North Elmham,

Opening times Mon-Fri 09:00-16:00,

Sat 09:00-14:00

Recommended 

According to the latest weather stories in the press we are about to enter the windy season with 3 months of gales forecast. Apparently today will be the last good cycling day for a while so I planned to make the most of it. I had arranged to go on a 50 mile ride with Andrew (who is notoriously hard to please) out to North Elmham. Blog reader Myra had emailed me to suggest 

Try the Tea Post in North Elmham  nr DEREHAM .

Wonderful ambience ,very good food and the cakes are soooooo yummy.   Go try !!!

Anywhere who's cake can attract 6 o's, plus 3 exclamation marks, looks like a must goooooo toooooo venue and was therefore perfect for today's last non windy ride.

Despite the fact I had washed my summer bike and put it away for the winter I decided that on such a nice day it was worth one more trip out. This proved to be a mistake and I should have follow the old rhyme 'once washed and away, until spring it must stay'.

It wasn't long before the route started to take in stunning views of the Norfolk countryside and in such good lighting conditions we came across an artist painting the landscape. Since the success of my pen and ink cake drawing, (see Poetry Corner), I now consider myself a bit of a painter so I stopped and whipped out my water colours. Can you tell which is the photo and which is my painting. 

Pretty tough to spot the difference but anyone who knows the area will know that I have added a fictional church on the hill (yes it really is a painting) so that one is my water colour.

With art completed it was on to North Elmham where we found the Tea Post on the main road through the village.

Outside Tea Post at North Elmham

We went inside to discover that this was not only a cafe but a post office as well (the clue was in the name).

Tea Post is both a cafe and Post Office

I checked out the cake selection and it was a good one with sponge cakes, fruit cakes, cup cakes, slices and scones all available so I awarded a high effective cake selection (ECS) rating.

Good cake selection

With my hot chocolate I ordered Victoria sponge and the compulsory cheese scone, as part of my cheese scone serving temperature research (sadly cold). Andrew (who is notoriously hard to please) ordered a cappuccino plus chocolate and orange cake.

We both thought our drinks were a bit too milky but we were really here for the soooooo yummy cakes!!! Fortunately I can report that Myra was spot on and we both thought the cakes were great and did deserve 6 o's, 3 exclamation marks and a high cake taste quality (CTQ) score.

Soooooo yummy cakes!!!

Overall the Tea Post at North Elmham was a spot on stop for a bike ride with friendly staff, good value quality food and excellent cakes. It also has the added Post Office bonus meaning that, as you don't seem to be able to get 3G in North Elmham, if you want to let someone know about the excellent cake you can write them a postcard and have it in the mail before you have left the cafe. Unfortunately when we wanted to do this we discovered the post office didn't actually sell post cards but you can always use a sealed envelope instead (ask your parents).

With 'post card' sent it was now time to set off home. All the roads today were extremely muddy which particularly annoyed Andrew as he to had recently washed his bike. Things were not helped when I then took us down a very muddy off road track. 

One of the many muddy roads we went on

However this led to today's cycling guest cycling top tip

Cycling guests cycling top tip No 36. A stick makes an excellent mud removal tool for de-clogging your brakes.

Andrew cleaning brakes with his stick tool

On our return home I once again washed my bike but this time I've definitely put it away until spring.

Scores based on three visits

Hot Choc Quality	Guest Hot Drink Quality	Effective Cake Selection	Cake Quality	Ambiance and Atmosphere	Café Rating
6	6.5	7.2	8.23	7.1	7.01

Route

Click here to download 49 mile Norwich North Elmham loop gpx file for your GPS

Lack of Discipline. (Yakety Yak Tearoom. Harleston)

Yakety Yak Tearooms,

Harleston,

Opening times Mon-Sat 09:00-18:00,

Sun 10-16:00

After arranging a group cafe cycle ride for today I had been worried that the weather was going to be an issue as there had been much fog recently which, if repeated, would make cycling a bit too dangerous for my liking. I therefore got up early for a pitch inspection and was mighty relieved to see that the fog had gone and so I could declare that conditions were fit for cycling.

A couple of hours later I was joined at Race HQ (Cake Crusader Towers) by four cycling guests plus Chris (Mrs Crusader) meaning a large group of 6 set off south for our planned trip to Harleston. 

After two years of cafe cycling reviewing I have pretty much exhausted any unvisited cafes within a 15 mile radius of Race HQ so now have to go further a field to find somewhere new. So with a forty plus round trip required it was a good job we had perfect autumnal conditions as we made our way through the Norfolk countryside to today's venue Yakety Yak tearooms.

Perfect cycling conditions

It was an uneventful ride down and after negotiating the complicated Harleston one way system we found the Yakety Yak tearooms in a converted furniture shop. We locked our bikes and went inside.

Outside Yakety Yak tearoom pre bike locking

It had been themed in a 1940's and 50's style which reminded me of visiting my Grandmothers house when I was a child except here there was more cake, the central heating was on and it didn't smell of wee.

1940's and 50's theme

First we went to the tearoom counter to check out the cake selection. It was a very good selection with a good number and variety of cakes, of particular interest was the white chocolate and beetroot sponge cake. I therefore awarded a high effective cake selection (ECS) rating.

Excellent cake selection

I spotted one of the cakes available was coffee and walnut so was pleased that Mick (renowned coffee and walnut cake expert) was one of my cycling guests today. However before any of us had had a chance to order Mick was already sitting down and had started to eat some fruit cake. I was very unhappy, not only was he trying a cake he clearly wasn't qualified in but was eating it before I had taken the compulsory cakes and drink photo. I had no option but quietly to take him to one side making it clear that this sort of behaviour was not acceptable and he needed to get with the programme if he was going to be invited to be one of my cycling guests in future. He assured me it wouldn't happen again and to prove he was fully onside ordered a second cake, coffee and walnut obviously.

With discipline restored the rest of us could get on with cake and drink selecting. On the drinks front Yakety Yak Tearoom has put the emphasis on tea with 18 types of loose leaf available. Unfortunately I always have hot chocolate and my cycling guests were all coffee drinkers were the options were more limited being only filter, instant or instant decaf but surprisingly, for a 1940s themed tearoom, no camp coffee. 

When it came to cake myself and Jenny, not surprisingly, went for the white chocolate and beetroot, Chris (Mrs Crusader) for toffee cake and Andy carrot cake. I also had a cheese scone as part of my continuing cheese scone serving temperature research (this one came correctly warmed). 

Then, to my horror, Roberta asked for a toasted tea cake. I immediately explained to Roberta that a toasted tea cake is not actually a cake but a sweet bread. Normally when a cycling guest does this my explanation is enough to restore order but with unheard of insubordination she sarcastically pointed out that the clue was in the name and it was therefore clearly a cake. Again this left me with no option but to quietly take her to one side to point out that no higher authority than Wikipedia describes a tea cake as a light yeast-based sweet bun containing dried fruit, typically served toasted and buttered and you wouldn't toast and butter a slice of Victoria sponge cake would you. Point proved I said she could have her tea cake but would not be playing any further part in cake reviewing activities today.

Cakes, including half eaten fruit cake, ready to try

With discipline once again restored we returned to the table to try our drinks and cakes (for those of us not having fruit bread). We all thought the white chocolate and beetroot cake was exceptionally and Mick really liked his fruit cake as well. However I was more interested to see a master at work and listen to Mick's exceptional reviewing skills and knowledge on the subject of coffee and walnut. He tried some and we waited with bated breath for his opinion which he expertly described as fine but not as good as the fruit cake. However overall it was a high all round cake taste quality (CTQ) score.

When it came to drinks I liked the hot chocolate which was nice and strong but my cycling guests thought the coffee decent but not exceptional.

Tray of coffee

Overall Yakety Yak tearoom was a good cycling stop and worth a visit for the excellent cake especially if you are a tea drinker.

I was pleased that I was able to at least maintain cycling discipline on the way back as we successfully returned in one piece but I will be providing clear printed cycling guest guidelines, roles and responsibilities on all future rides. 

Scores

Hot Choc Quality	Guest Hot Drink Quality	Effective Cake Selection	Cake Quality	Ambiance and Atmosphere	Café Rating
7.0	6.0	8.5	7.5	5.5	6.80

Map of route


Click here to down load 43 mile Norwich Harleston loop GPX file for your GPS

Flapjack, cake or not cake? (Funky Mackerel Cafe, Sheringham)

Funky Mackerel Cafe,

Sheringham,

Opening times Mon-Sun 10:00-17:00,

Recommended 

Last week I had arranged to go on a ride with Andrew (who is notoriously hard to please) from his house in Alysham so we could head up to the North Norfolk coastal area. Unfortunately, just as I was about to set off, I received a text informing me that he had fallen over the day before and was now too stiff to ride (bless). We therefore had to rearrange until today while he loosened up. I had assumed he must have fallen off his bike and had been impressed but it transpired that, due to reasons he was unprepared to share, he had actually tripped over and fallen into a nettle patch getting stung from head to toe, less impressive. The pain, itching and numbness lasted for several days so today would be his first ride he had been on for a couple of weeks.

I had requested we head for Sheringham where I currently had 3 different cafe recommendations from blog readers. However as Andrew was leading the way it came as no surprise that we found ourselves in Holt, again, which you may remember is Andrews destination of choice whenever we ride from his house. He was keen to cafe here but I insisted we continue North to the seaside.

Holt high street which is clearly not the Sheringham destination I had requested

Although Norfolk is famous for being flat it does have a feature called the Cromer ridge which is a steep ridge that runs parallel to the coast. You have to go over this to reach Sheringham. Heading North the climb is long and gentle before a steep decent towards the sea. On leaving Holt we climbed up to the top and then sped down the other side. Andrew was clearly still upset that we had not stopped in Holt so to my surprise, at the next junction, instead of heading along the flat coast road to Sheringham we turned the other way to climb back up another steep section of the ridge. Apparently this was his way of punishing me for insisting we went to the planned destination. At the summit we rode along the top and then back down the hill to Sheringham. As Andrew had been off the bike for a couple of weeks he was knackered so decided I had been 'punished' enough for not stopping at his beloved Holt and was now happy to proceed to our cafe stop.

One of the roads up Cromer ridge, with Andrew in the distance.

We headed straight to the Beach where I had been recommended to try the Funky Mackerel Beach cafe. I was a bit nervous as to date I have never found a good beach caff. I suspect this is because they have a captive audience of holiday makers so your beach caff doesn't have to try very hard and they all seem to have a quantity versus quality approach to catering. However it had been recommended to me by an actual journalist, Kate, who writes about cycling so I had high hopes.

Outside the Funky Mackerel Cafe on the prom at Sheringham

One thing all beach caffs have in common are fantastic seaside views and the Funky Mackerel was no exception. The view from the small outdoor seating breakfast bar area was tremendous even if I couldn't persuade Andrew to sit outside today.

View of sea from outdoor breakfast bar area

Inside was a little strange as it was full of 70 retro clothes and toys. Andrew very much liked the decor and was keen to award a high atmosphere and ambiance score. I wasn't quite as keen but it made a change from plastic tables and cheap beach goods plus with the great view I had to admit it had a good feel.

Inside has a 70's retro feel

As always I went to check out the cake selection which was different from most I have come across. There was: a cookie, which is a biscuit so doesn't count, Eccles cake, which although it has the word cake in it is actually a raisin pie so doesn't count either, carrot cake, which is cake and 5 different types of flapjack, which is barely cake. Fortunately I'm a big fan of flapjack so always count it as part of a cake selection but despite this I couldn't really give a high effective cake selection (ECS) rating.

Cake selection featuring 5 types of flapjack

There were also a number of hot chocolates available on the hot chocolate menu board but in these circumstances I always go for standard hot chocolate to maintain cross cafe hot chocolate reviewing consistency. Andrew ordered a cappuccino and we then selected banana and date flap jack, respectively, from the multitude of flap jack options.

Selection of hot choclates available

We chose a seat that took in the view and tried our food and drink.

Sea view from indoor seating area

The hot chocolate was quite good and if my body wasn't such a temple I would have liked to try a specialist hot chocolate but it is so I didn't. I made a note to have one on a future visit when I'm off cake crusader reviewing duties. Still on the drinks front Andrew also thought his cappuccino performed well. 

Drinks and flapjacks

The flapjacks were excellent and I was especially impressed by the consistency as often a flapjack can be either a tooth breaker or crumbles in your hand before it reaches your mouth but these were spot on. We debated if there needed to be a cake taste quality (CTQ) score ceiling (in the same way there is for a guest hot drink cup of tea) as flapjack isn't really cake. We eventually decided there should be so awarded theses the maximum available flapjack score which we set at 8. I have update cycle cafe reviewing rules accordingly with the new flapjack ruling (see there must be rules).

We found it very relaxing as we sat admiring the view whilst enjoying our drinks and flapjacks and could have stayed there all day but blogs don't write themselves so we eventually had to leave.

I thought the Funky Mackerel cafe was a very good stop, especially if you like flapjack, and was the best example of a beach caff I have encountered to date. I will definitely be coming back again.

The return ride meant climbing the Cromer ridge for the 3rd time but as this was clearly wearing out Andrew more than me it forced him to take us the quick way back to Alysham successfully bypassing Holt for once.

Ratings for Funky Mackerel Cafe

Hot Choc Quality	Guest Hot Drink Quality	Effective Cake Selection	Cake Quality	Ambiance and Atmosphere	Café Rating
6.5	6.5	5.5	8.0	8.5	7.00

Route

Click here to download 36 mile Alysham to Sheringham loop Gpx file for your GPS

Puncture repairs. (Gardeners Kitchen, Burgh Apton)

Gardeners Kitchen,

Burgh Apton,

Opening times Mon- Sat 9:30-4:30, Sun 10:00-4:00

Highly Recommended 

I'm not having much luck with my cycling guests at the moment. First I was meant to ride to Sheringham with Andrew (who is notoriously hard to please) but he had fallen off his bike the day before and so was too stiff for a ride (bless). I have rearranged for next week when he will have loosened up and fitted stabilisers on to his bike.

Then yesterday I was meant to be going on a long 65 miler with Big George but just before he was due to turn up I got a text saying Mrs Big George had hurt her back and was taking the day off work expecting Big George to look after her. He had explained to her that he was meant to be on an all day ride with me. She did say that if he went she would be fine, but he wasn't going to fall for that as like all experienced husbands he knows that 'fine' doesn't mean 'off you go, and have a lovely time' but that it is actually a test and it isn't fine at all.

So as a compromise Big George asked me if we could go on a short morning ride so he could do the nursing bit for most of the day whilst not letting me down, in a display of good husband solidarity I obviously agreed.

I was aware of a newish cafe at the Green Pastures garden centre Burgh Apton which we could take in on a 30 mile loop down to Loddon. To make sure he wasn't away too long we went at our fastest pace and were well ahead of schedule as we approached our stop.

At this point disaster struck as we both heard a loud pop and hiss to find Big George had a rare front wheel puncture.

As Big George started his repairs I though I would take the opportunity to publish a Big George puncture repair master class (BGPRMC). 

BGPRMC Step 1. Take the wheel off. For some reason Big George spent sometime stroking his tyre before he actually took it off saying he was looking for the cause of the puncture. This is a waste of time at this point in the puncture repair process but seemed to get him in the right frame of mind for the task.

BGPRMC Step 2.  Once wheel is removed take just one side of the tyre off the wheel using tyre leavers and remove the inner tube. For some reason Big George decided to stroke his tyre again before eventually getting on with tyre removal. Fortunately I had brought a short novel with me and settled down to read it.

BGPRMC Step 3. Check inside tyre for flints and thorns that are still in tyre and then put in a new inner tube. Despite much searching and more tyre stroking Big George never did find the guilty object. I had finished my book by now but luckily had brought an easel and water colours so decided to paint the landscape.

BGPRMC Step 4.  Push tyre back into rim. Getting the last bit of tube in can be quite tricky but as a rule the more expensive the tyre the easier it pops back. These were clearly very cheap tyres. My art work was complete but fortunately I had brought with me a note pad and pen so while Big George struggled with his tyre I started writing my memoirs.

BGPRMC Step 5. Put the wheel back on and pump up the tyre. Unfortunately Big George has an overly complicated pump and it took a few minutes to get it out of crossbar mode to pump mode, but once set up he quickly filled the tyre with air. I spent the time starting to write this years Christmas cards.

Hopefully Big George's puncture repair master class was useful to you but I hadn't realised just how useful it would be for me later in the ride.

With repairs complete it wasn't long before we arrived at the Gardeners Kitchen at the Green Pastures garden centre and farm shop.

On arrival we couldn't find anywhere to lock our bikes to so locked them together at the front entrance and went inside.

Outside entrance to Gardeners Kitchen

You have to go through the garden shop to find the large Gardeners kitchen restaurant so we did. Here we found an exceptional cake selection which covered all the basic cakes and scones plus some unusual things like snickers cheese cake. I awarded a very high effective cake selection (ECS) rating.

Just some of the excellent cake selection

I went for a chocolate cake and cheese scone (as part of my cheese scone serving temperature research, served cold) but the choice was too much for Big George who couldn't cope with the large selection so ordered a fried egg sandwich instead.

Big George's posh fried egg sandwich which clearly isn't cake

The outside seating area looked a bit too cold today so we opted to sit inside in the large indoor area. It was nice but lacked a bit of tearoom character and charm.

Indoor seating area

My hot chocolate was a good one being nice and strong and not too sweet, Big George found his filter coffee a little too weak for his tastes. The portion size of the scone and chocolate cake were certainly on the large side which got my approval although size is not always a good indicator of cake taste quality. However on this occasion I thought the chocolate cake was very nice retaining enough moistness and having a good chocolate flavour plus the added benefit of a lump of cadburys flake on top.

Cakes and drinks

Cakes and drinks from August 2016 looking remarkably like the October 2015 ones

Overall the Gardeners Kitchen was a good stop that scored well especially on the cake front. I think it would attract even more cyclists if there was somewhere better to be able to securely leave your bikes but worth a visit if you have a good lock.

We set off on the short ride back and despite the earlier puncture drama Big George was confident he would not be in too much trouble for being out for too long. This was until I too got a puncture, my first for ages*. Fortunately I had been paying attention to Big Georges puncture repair master class and got it mended in no time at all enabling him to get back for brow mopping duties on time. 

Mend puncture after seeing BGPRMC

Hopefully next week I will have more luck with my cycling guests and get a full ride in.

*Records show this was the first time both me and a cycling guest had had a puncture on the same ride since 26th February

Scores

Hot Choc Quality	Guest Hot Drink Quality	Effective Cake Selection	Cake Quality	Ambiance and Atmosphere	Café Rating
7.75	5.0	9.00	7.25	6.00	7.00

Route

Click here to download Loddon - Norwich loop GPX file to load on to your GPS